Thank you for CHEWING loudly…not.

Dear Bloggers,

I am blogging live. A certain event is taking place…well right next to me, and it is the utmost annoying thing I have ever had to withstand.

To give you the colorful setting… I am at work.  Sitting in front of a computer with my co-worker sitting next to me on her laptop.  Well I do not have the luxury of having my laptop with me, so the department’s DELL will suffice. 

ANYWAYS.  My co-worker and I are friendly with each other, or at least I thought.  For the past 3 HOURS, I have had to hear her eat, drink and chew her gum OBNOXIOUSLY loud.  All while have her mouth open.

If you do not know me by now, you should know that myALL -TIME PET PEEVE IS PEOPLE CHEWING/GNAWING ON FOOD/GUM!   AKA: any noises coming from your mouth when you are eating. Oh and did I mention popping your gum obnoxiously?  Like did you mom never teach you to CHEW WITH YOUR MOUTH CLOSE??

I am at my wits end here.  I thought I could handle it, and make a couple escapes to the “bathroom.”  But no, every time I think she is done “eating or chewing,” she pops in another piece of gum or gnaws on some candy. 

So when you are in this position, what can you say? “I’m sorry can you please stop gnawing on your food/gum?” or “Can you please stop popping your gum every 10 seconds?”

In these social situations, what is okay to say?  What would be deemed as “unbitchy?”  I’m sure NOTHING. 

Once again I face a situation in which I cannot say anything “bitchy” because I’m a nice person. wtf.

So instead of saying anything, I have given death stares and long aspirated sighs.  Apparently, she didn’t get the message.  So here I am, blogging my feelings of pure agitation, leaving you to read my wrath.

Now, most of you would say, “just block it out.”  WELL I CAN’T.  Once I’ve her the popping or the chewing, its all over.  My mind will find a way to fixate on it, and my eyes will listen out for it. 

I’m so desperate that I might whip out my ipod, which would probably be seen as unprofessional, but isn’t eating/chewing with you mouth open IMPOLITE?!?!

Can I ever win?

So I am asking you, from the bottom of my annoyed heart, to help me block out this piercing noise or come up with something to say that is nice.

pop….pop….pop…pop…pop…pop….chew….chew…chew..chew….pop..poppopopop….chug….chew… this is my soundtrack of work.


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