Indiana Jones… more like Indiana Blows.

So I was forced to watch INDIANA JONES and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull with my famiglia this past Sunday.  And as I predicted…it didn’t add up to what the media was blabbing about…aka it SUCKED. I’m sorry Indiana Jones fans, but I must admit it was a joke.

Let me break it down for you: (CAUTION: do not read if you hate spoilers.)Shia LaBeouf

1. Harrison Ford….do us all a favor and stop doing your own stunts.  I mean granted you are a phenomenal actor, but leave the stunts to the professionals. That’s what they are there for….to do what you can’t do.  I’m not saying that you should quit acting, but…just stop doing stunts we all know you can no longer do. Thank smuch.

2. The dialogue was hilarious.  Some of the things Harrison and the other actors said were just plain STUPID.  For example, at one point in the film, Jones says: “I should have never doubted you my friend….” Like just the way he said it and when he said it was terrible and all wrong … I could NOT help but laugh out loud in the theater.

3. The love story was so cliché.  I mean, the two “lovers” just realized that they after all of these years…they really do love each other and were like “HEY, let’s get married!!” Talk about a gag-reel.

4. The plot was….how should I say this?…STUPID.  It made no sense whatsoever.  I had a hard time following the history of this “crystal skull,” and I felt like they were building it up to be some great mystery, but in the end…it was about ALIENS!!!! Like wow. Were they joking when they drew up the script?

5. The only good thing about the film was Shia Leboeuf, aka the man of my dreams.  He was amazing and I don’t care what anyone says.  When he first appeared on the screen with his HARLEY, I hyperventilated right then and there.  My favorite part was when Shia and Harrison Ford were in the diner “discussing” about stuff like Mutt’s mom and Professor Ox, and that little “rumble” that happened between the “grease-heads” and the “jocks.”  That was just the best scene in the movie for me!! 

And what made the movie somewhat worth-while was the following:

A. Shia, of course.

B. The ending which hinted to another Indiana Jones movie… feat. SHIA!!! And if Harrison Ford makes another appearance in the next film… I might just freak out.

So there you have it, my opinion of Indiana Blows, I’m sorry…. Indiana Jones.   And I’m sorry if I blew it for any reader who still hasn’t seen the film, but in my defense, I warned you in the beginning.

I know I was a little harsh, but I feel that if Shia was in the movie himself it would have been amazing, but then again Harrison Ford was needed to start off the next generation of INDIANA JONES movies.  I just felt that with all of the media build-up, it was going to be amazing, and I just thought that it could have been much better.  I did not expect it to follow this plot line (which I was not too crazy of, but I did love Shia being Jones’ son), and I was disappointed in Harrison Ford.

As for a moral ending to my post … all I can really say is don’t force yourself to do anything you or anyone around you knows you can’t do…(ahem Harrison Ford), but then again, it is worth it to try. 

 In the end, I give much kudos to Harrison Ford for trying, but I’m sorry to say that it just didn’t work out.  Better luck next time! 

I’ll leave you with a quote my dear friend G made:

 “Can’t wait for more shia-ness all over the big screen!!”

JO 🙂


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